I had been involved in many obscure & mystical religious paths since my early teens. Always looking for something deeper.

Christianity held little to no appeal to me from early on. The first forms of paganism we were told about in schools were greek and egyptian. Immediately, polytheism made more sense than monotheism.

And then I found Satanism, Wicca, Celtic & Norse Paganism, Babylonian Paganism, Thelema, Taoism and Shamanism. In that order. Nothing fit right. Eventually I found an idea from british "chaos magic": "Worship the gods and spirits from any religion together." Tried that for a while.

But at a point of crisis in my teenage years, I felt that nothing mattered and I drifted toward many satanic ideologies. I remained on this path for I long time. And then I learned a hard lesson about it: that no form of satanism or devilworship can exist without taking another religion and turning it upside down. And that a "Devil" is a cultural construct.

And then, when all concepts of gods & demons & such seemed hollow, parts began falling into place. I was suddenly more encouraged than ever to seek out my roots. And then it dawned on me that in studying so many alternate paths, that I had never seen one single book or even one single page in a book that had mentioned any sort of Eastern European Paganism at all. Ever.

So I dedicated myself to finding it. This was about four years ago, and I have been digging through piles of information on it. Scholarly research, websites, folkelore books and anything else that might provide a clear picture of Slavic Paganism. And in America, this is very difficult to find.

So I have been studying my ass off for the gods for about four and a half years now. In the past two years I have begun to feel spiritual and have had some minor experiences which seemed to be me connecting with the gods. 

A month ago I realized that I have learned a lot, and that there will always be more to learn. I have compiled in notes and in my mind more information then any book in english that I have found has in it. Therefore I don't have to wait to learn more before I start to worship the old slavic gods. And if I need guidance, I can ask the gods and my ancestors.

So I started praying and offering to Perun, and since then I have felt connections to other gods. Recently I was in the city meditating in a dry space as it begun to rain. And I felt a presence like nothing else. I was suddenly aware of the sky. Or of something above it. Hiden in the clouds. It was one of the most pure sensations I've ever felt. I'm certain that it was Rod.


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