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  • #347661

    Anonymous

    I am a  father of a little girl, who’s half Belarusian (Vietebsk region), half Pole of Belarus (Grodno region).  I opened this subject elsewhere. I would like to know opinion of  fellow Slavs.

    It’s stated that Mums and daughters are close. Sons and Dads are close
    too. What about relations between daughters and fathers? In Belarusian culture
    gender of children doesn’t matter. Very often
    Mums love their sons more than daughters, while Dads love their
    daughters more than sons.

    I noticed youngest children (girl or boy) are given more attention from their parents and grandparents.

    Such relations are common in Slavic cultures?

    #448096

    Anonymous

    Very often Mums love their sons more than daughters, while Dads love their daughters more than sons.

    You should never think about this. Both parents should love their children equally and the children should love their parents equally.
    It depends on which parent spends more time with their children and how open they are. Try to balance it out.
    Children also incline to their more benevolent parent. You should balance it out as well.

    I noticed youngest children (girl or boy) are given more attention from their parents and grandparents.

    Because the older you are, the more independent you are. You’re able to do more things without help from adults. People subconsciously see the youngest children in a group as the ones that need help so they give them more attention. It’s psychology.

    Enjoy your time with your daughter until she hits puberty. Gradually she will have more secrets and she will spend less time with you.

    #448097

    Anonymous

    @”Kapitán Denis”

    >Enjoy your time with your daughter until she hits puberty. Gradually she
    will have more secrets and she will spend less time with you.

    Do you have children ?:)

    #448098

    Anonymous

    Do you have children ?:)

    No. But this time it sounds convincing, doesn’t it? :D

    #448099

    Anonymous

    It didn’t sound convincing, therefore I asked. :) But your opinion is welcomed. :)

    #448101

    Anonymous

    lets just say my father never hesitated to discipline me and my two brothers, the rod wasnt spared in my house. One time my dad spanked my little sister…one time, and afterwards he came home with a teddy bear and chocolate and a movie for her. I was physically disciplined sometimes every week as a child, and sometimes multiple times a week, I never recieved such gifts. 

    there is something special about daughter and father relationship. I agree with @”Kapitán Denis”  though, children should be loved equally. I find parents who have favorites ridiculous. My parents have 5 children, and loved us all equally.

    #448106

    Anonymous

    @srdceleva

    I also agree that children should be loved equally. But it doesn’t happen always.

    For example my cousin sister is the first granddaughter on maternal side. I am first grandson on maternal side. For some reason our grandfather (Mum’s and Mum of my cousin father) paid more attention to us – to oldest grandchildren. There was nothing special about me and my older cousin sister.

    #448108

    Anonymous

    For some reason our grandfather (Mum’s father) paid more attention to us – to oldest grandchildren.

    Maybe sometimes some people see the fact that the younger ones get more attention and they don’t want the older ones to feel less loved so they give them attention instead. It’s still psychology. :D Even though I’m not a psychologist, I would need to spend some time as a spectator around your family to fully determine the reason behind this behavior. 

    #448109

    Anonymous

    @”Kapitán Denis”

    There’s no correct explanation even from psychologists.

    My explanations is that our grandfather was attached to his first grandchildren of different gender to whom he sung Lullaby.

    #448121

    Anonymous

    From what I remember from developmental psychology, children are closest to their same-sex parent (i.e. daughters to mothers, sons to fathers) when they’re young. As they start growing up, they switch – daughters grow closer to their father and sons – to their mother. Of course, ideally both parents would love all their children equally (and vice versa), but there’s always at least a little difference. Heck, that’s why we have the stereotypes of the shotgun father and of the mother-in-law (svekarva, boy’s mother) who hates and constantly nags her son’s wife (though, to be fair, the other mother-in-law, the girl’s mother, is also often the butt of many a mean joke).

    #448123

    Anonymous

    @NikeBG Around here number of jokes about guy’s mother in law (tašta) surpasses number of jokes about girl’s mother in law (svekrva) by far.

    #448127

    Anonymous

    Here as well, though I think the tashta jokes are mostly just jokes, while the svekarva thing is a stereotype, which is often quite true.

    #448129

    Anonymous

    @NikeBG I guess girls don’t dare to make svekrva jokes as much :D

    #448130

    Anonymous

    @NikeBG I think all children are attached to their mother when they are young. 

    #448131

    Anonymous

    I think parents like more the children who are acting like they did during that age. I don’t even think the gender matters.

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