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5 Tips How To “Summer Vacation” Like A True Slav

What differs Slavs on vacations from other groups

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Dear Slavchiks, today I bring to you special advice, which I have either witnessed, or experienced myself, and can guarantee that all of it comes from real life.

Pack what you need

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Proper packing is essential. You will most likely be gone for ten to fourteen days, and you never know what might happen or what you might need during that time. First aid kits and bug out bags are for amateurs. Real Slavic vacationers are properly prepared. Anything not home is foreign and probably barbaric, so you better bring your own necessities like a portable TV, portable radio (for the beach), essential cookware, a portable car fridge…

You know you packed right if the only things left behind in the house are the kitchen sink and the grandmother. She doesn’t travel. Went to the baths 40 km away once in her life and she still talks about it today.

Make sure you wear appropriate clothing

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You are on vacation in a vacation-y country so there is no need to worry. Everything there will be perfect for vacationers and perfectly safe. Want to go hiking? No worries, a pair of flip flops and a small bottle of water should set you right, that island is surely just a kilometre away and easy to reach on a paddle boat or even your air mattress. Of course, there is also no dress code in any kind of location, so no worries about entering religious buildings in your bathing suit.

Prepare for the beach

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The best thing to do is to get to the beach bright and early and work on your tan the entire day. Now, you will want to tan as much and as fast as possible, so don’t bother with sunscreen or anything like that. The super pros use olive oil, and don’t worry if you are lobster red at the end of the day, that just means that it will be a nice rich tan once it cools and/or peels off.

Enjoy the local cuisine

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Of course, by local cuisine we mean going to the local market to get some fresh fruits or veggies. Maybe, if you are feeling very adventurous you might go out for pizza or a chain fast food restaurant. After all, if you followed the first and most important rule- Pack what you need, you already know that you should have brought your own food with you because the foreign lands are barbarous and they do things differently there. The exception are, of course, the local alcoholic beverages.

Meet some nice people

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The best nice people are  probably your countryfolk. Even though you will probably get into a fight with someone from a different city in your home country, or someone rooting for a different soccer team, once you are on vacation, they are your new best buddy. Hanging out with the locals is a maybe option, if they show the appropriate level of enthusiasm, and if you have sampled the local alcohols sufficiently.  Enough of those, and language barriers break down, and you found your new best friends for life. Or at least until the vacation ends.

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