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10 Things that prove Slavs haven’t changed from medieval times

From Ancient times till today, we’re still a happy colorful bunch

Slav pip boy in Ancient Slav lands / Vsevolod Ivanov painting

These 10 things can cause sadness or a smile on your face, depending on your personality. Maybe this is the reason Slavs like to assimilate very well into other societies. Still it’s not so easy. You can change your sex, you can change even your skin color. But it’s really difficult to change your mentality. We are Slavs and this is our Slavic mentality, if we like or not. And this is what unites us: pork, vodka, laziness and even our eternal separation.

1# Working habits

Let us be honest, we are hard workers as people at times, but deep inside you don’t like to work and we tend to let ourselves go into laziness, period. You can’t stand the planned activity which can last for years. You want to have it all – and you want it now. Thoughts about a hard work make you sick. You would like to find a magic stick and become a famous rapper with a lot of chicks and a Ferrari. You’re angry because there is no such a stick, but when a politician in a TV-screen promises to give you one, you vote for him and wait for your dreams come true. (If we wouldn’t have Nikola Tesla as an example of devotion we would be even more stale and go as the wind blows)

2# Food choices

You like to eat unhealthy and tasty food, which contains a lot of dough and fat. You adore pork. The old manuscript says the Saint Prince Vladimir of Kiev, who baptized Rus refused Islam because of the pork ban. Scientists believe it is a sort of medieval humor, still all Slavs love pork. You can find pork meals in any Slavic country. Czech people love pork especially and they cook the best pork. They are Slavic pork champions. They can bake it for 8 hours (!) in black beer, with French mustard and so on. So if you don’t like it or if you’re a vegan, then you’re an American spy.

3# Alcohol as tradition

You like strong alcoholic beverages, whatever you call it: vodka, gorilka, rakia and so on. There were a lot of times in history when drunk Slavic warriors were beaten by their enemies.

4# Relations with other

You are cunning. Mostly it concerns all Slavs, but from Russian perspective cunning ones are Polish, Czech, Ukrainian and Western Belorussian people, naturally also from Polish perspective they view the Eastern Slavs like that too. However each for himself will claim to be be very simple, peaceful, loving and with good intentions. Sometimes too simple we are indeed. Cunning Slavs also like to look simple, but they keep their cards close.

5# Common sense? Njet

You don’t like to think especially when thinking ruins your dreams. Common sense is your worst enemy. Common sense is banned in the Slavic territory and in any country! Why you ask yourself? Because we think with out hearts. We mean just look at the comments on this website, people love to fight each other, they know it’s wrong and pointless but it feels good to most of them.

6# Power of beauty

Your girls are really beautiful – even without makeup. So you can compensate your envy when you look at good German highways (or German cars) – “Big deal! We have hot chicks!”. Sometimes these hot chicks mess with others who own those German cars and then we get really mad and jelly.

7# Brotherhood before anything? Njet

You don’t like other Slavs, you don’t like your neighbors, you don’t like your cousins. In one of the first chronicles about Slavs the well-known Byzantine historian Procopius of Caesarea wrote in the 6th century AD that Slavs don’t live near each other. They have their settlements spread and wide. It is a very symbolic fact. Truth is bitter – we don’t like each other. Except maybe Serbs who help each other even if they don’t know this person. Slavs are a separated nation. That is why they are often an easy prey for more consolidated groups. It was in the ancient times like in that story with Avars, it happens now.

8# Strong roots or just assimilate?

You don’t give a damn about your history. Slavs assimilate too easy. You can find Italian-Americans in the USA who remember their homeland and you can find somebody called Kozlowsky who will consider himself a 100 per cent American. It concerns all Slavic nations.

9# Peaceful but hardened by time

You’re a peaceful person, but when you’re drunk you like to fight. Ancient manuscripts say original Slavs were peaceful peasants, but later they learned some cruelty from Avars (check Google please) and other enemies. Slavic nations survived a lot of wars and there a lot of Slavic heroes. Still Slavs are peaceful people in their everyday life. Unfortunately, some Slavs are always drunk, so one could consider them evil chavs i.e. gopniks.

10# Worship of women

You obey your women. Slavs are matriarchal (all except Montenegrins). The Czech chronicle says there was once a legendary war between men and women. Why is that? Maybe the reason is Slavs have been always agricultural people and worshipped Earth Mother who was the common Indo-European goddess.

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